Who is to blame- Part 2

Note: Please read part 1 first @ https://holidayhealings.com/2018/03/10/who-is-to-blame-part-1/

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Prerna opened the envelope.  As she opened the envelope, a picture fell out. She saw the picture and placed it inside the envelope. Then, she started reading the letter.

Dear Prerna,

I couldn’t think of gifting you something worldly. So, I am gifting you the truth.

I don’t know if Rajeev ever had the courage to tell you the truth. Whether he did or not, I would like you to know my end of the story. The person you are with today has been with me for the past five years. You might be thinking, then what happened? How did I let him go so easily? Well, I still haven’t. It is not that easy. One year ago, I used to be a girl who wanted to live without any compromise. I used to think that life with him would be great.  I was happy to finally have a man who understands me and loves me.

Then, about 10 months ago news came that his mother is sick and needs help. I asked Rajeev to hire a nurse for her care. However, as it turns out it is a sin to pay for a nurse when you have a 26 year old son who can get you a ‘bride nurse’ for free.

Love makes you take stupid decisions. I couldn’t handle the idea of losing him. So, I asked him to marry me and have his mother moved in with us. But, apparently I was overqualified to marry him. I was a city girl and an year older than him. I was a girl who wouldn’t leave her job to move to the village. I wasn’t a suitable candidate.

If you’re thinking, he didn’t fight for me, he did, but apparently these worldly affairs are stronger than our love.

You know he will return to Pune next week to rejoin work and you will be stuck here at home. And I know someone in your neighborhood will eventually mention my name. If it gives you any relaxation, I want you to know that you don’t need to bother your mind with thoughts of me with him. It’s not that everything is over for me but I see a new boundary building around me. If you’re wondering, who is building it? It is me. I always thought of myself as a carefree girl. I used to kid around with Rajeev that I would have an extra marital affair with him even if he gets married to someone else. However, as it turns out I do care. I care about the gossip that went around, “Look at her. She is still being close to him, knowing he is getting married soon.” So, I decided to stay away and keep my distance. I have even started to apply for other jobs.

If you’re thinking I am blaming you of seizing him from me, I am not. Now that he is married, I am also being forced at my home to tie the knot. After sometime, if you happen to see my happy pictures roaming around Europe, posing stupidly, don’t get the idea that I have had it all. Remember like you might have choked at some point today, maybe I did too. Since, I am a so called ‘modern girl’, maybe I will get drunk enough to make myself numb and to forget the thoughts that have been grabbing my throat and suffocating me all the while. Remember, I will be building a new prison for me. Slowly, building one bar daily and I would love it. Eventually, one day you will love your prison too. Which architect doesn’t love his creations? We will be the perfect actors, maybe so perfect that we won’t even realize that we once wanted our life to be different. We will be so involved in the role-plays that the real us will get far away, locked somewhere between illusion and reality, only returning to haunt us in our worst nightmares.

The final question that still remains is “Who is to blame”? Who is the one master of this acting school? Who holds the key to our prisons? Few months ago, when I was furious and shaken to my core, I was blaming all the mothers. Your mother, my mother, Rajeev’s mother. I thought how they can put our lives at stake, just so they can get the approval of being the perfect mother. I researched and found that there are still many places in India, where there is a frown on the mother’s face when a girl is born and a relieving smile when it’s a boy. Is it a frown because she might have to sacrifice her girl for the world?  Is it a smile because she knows that the boy would happily sacrifice all his loves for the first woman he ever loved? Whatever it is, I decided to kill all my motherly instincts, so I could put my child before than the world. Then my rage cooled off and I realized I still haven’t caught the main culprit. It is indeed a painful thought for a mother to raise a child telling him he can have whatever he wants and then eventually training him later to become an actor in his own life. Blaming the mothers was easy but they are not to be blamed. They are not doing this because this is acceptable to them. They are doing this because this way we are more acceptable to the world. Consciously or unconsciously, they are trying us to protect from something which has victimized them all the time.

For my life, I am taking the blame on me because life always gives us choices. One goes with the ways of the world and the other one has no specific path. It is up to me to explore and build that path. But, it is risky, it involves rebellion, it involves courage, it involves fight and it involves wounds. So, we tend to choose the usual path of the world, safe, known, experimented and applied. Whichever path we take, the choice is ultimately ours. It is ours choice to show our real face or to wear the mask. It is our choice to be the lamb living in a group, in luxury of a home or be the wolf living alone, exploring the forest.

Anyway, I will not take more of your time. I just wanted to let you know if you ever happened to change your choice, feel free to ring me up and I will try to break my prison bars to help you out. And, please don’t think of me as a stalker but I needed to look up the girl Rajeev was getting married to. So, I searched you on Facebook, you were hard to find but after some efforts I found you and I found a fierce picture of you playing basketball. I have sent you the same picture. I want you to get this framed and put it on your bedside, so you would look at her every now and then just to realize you are not the person you are pretending to be. I know it’s painful but it is better to live in pain than in denial.

In the end, I won’t wish you the clichéd ‘Have a Happy married life’ but I wish you all the courage you need to break down your prisons to get a little closer to yourself every day.

With best wishes,

Rashmi

Prerna handed the letter to Rajeev and looked at the picture. Then, she said nothing and went to the bathroom with the picture in her hand. She stood in front of the mirror and asked herself if she can really be rescued from this situation? Can she really run away and escape from this marriage? She closed her eyes and started imagining her life if she ran away. To her horror, she saw the villagers cursing her dad, their house on fire and her mother sitting on the road crying. She opened her eyes. This time she couldn’t hold her tears and they came rolling down her cheeks. She knew she cannot run. So, she took a deep breath and tore the picture into pieces. She wiped her tears and went inside. She placed the torn pieces of the picture in the envelope and said,” Rajeev ji, please return this to Rashmi and tell her that I am happy and not require her help. “

Rajeev just stared at her.

Prerna: “She might be your past but I am your present and I am your wife. So, you better stay away from her. It is my husband’s job to help me and keep me happy not hers.”

Rajeev: “I know. Just calm down and sit over here.”

Prerna: “In a moment”

She smiled and then took off the t-shirt she was wearing. Then she went closer to him and said: “It is a husband’s job to make love to her wife.”

————————————–************************——————————————–

Thanks guys for your response in the part-1 of this post.

Do you think Prerna’s decision was right? Could she have made a better decision? Please post in the comments below.

7 thoughts on “Who is to blame- Part 2

Add yours

  1. Looks like a happy ending to me.
    Can’t see a better outcome for anybody if Prerna had decided to run away.
    Also Rashmi could have congratulated on the marriage like a normal person. It just makes me feel like that she is still stuck on Rajeev and will try to ruin the marriage.
    The way she tried to manipulate Prerna into going out n living her dream was a nice try.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well well well it’s a conflicting situation. The transformation one goes from a carefree human being into a responsible dedicated pupil is difficult to understand.this can be referred as a situation wherein we see adaptability and acceptance has prevailed over your own desires. The most atrocious feeling is when you start having a mindset that your one decision can be very harmful to your whole family if prerna ran then her family cud have been hurt but just look at the myth…Her parents made him marry rajeev thinking that they are doing the best for her and now she is returning the favour but no offence to rashmi she just cleared her stand and told prerna the reality. We are our own masters we can either go with the flow or chaNge the flow according to our own instincts…..

    Credit to the writer for keeping the situation open ….I expect variable opinions and once again divya has set the stage for a fiery debate…#### all the very best nd looking forward for the next post…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was going Ok..Ok..but at the end..Prerna itni brave and samjhdar larki thi socha ni tha! Her thought and action…hats off to her She really stole my heart!!
    Now I can say, first part me bhi achhi decision liya tha!! Now by knowing quite about her and seeing Rajeev gentleness, I am sure she will not leave basketball and will keep playing! Shadi ke bad sabkuchh khatam ho jata hai..ye so called general perception, hinder ni karna chahiye!!
    Pta nahi..Rashmi kya karegi jab janegi ki Prerna..sachmuch me prerna hai jeevan ki!! I hope Rajeev, Prerna and Rashmi ek achhe friend ki tarah rahenge and will enjoy the life.!! Well written..third part bhi aa hi sakta hai, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great work Divya…. Just have few comments here-
    As Rashmi said – life always gives us choices. One goes with the ways of the world and the other one has no specific path. It is up to me to explore and build that path. But, it is risky, it involves rebellion, it involves courage, it involves fight and it involves wounds. So, we tend to choose the usual path of the world, safe, known, experimented and applied.

    First of all these are very impressive lines I will compliment your thoughts…

    Coming back so.. Prerna chose the well tested path because if she would have chosen the self-made path her family would have got tortured by society.
    For prerna to make choice is quite late and difficult, she should have fought with her parents to stick to her choice that would have been easy.. But if she make choice now she has to fight with society……..

    We can blame us only for our choices, exceptions are always there 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ….”To her horror, she saw the villagers cursing her dad, their house on fire and her mother sitting on the road crying.” Are such things still really exist in society?
    Her every decision is obligatory in nature! Jo samaj ke beriyon ke bhay se sahi chij karne me darte hain waise log life me kabhi kuchh ni kar pate, kyon ki ek samaj galat hai to achhe samaj bhi hai! Why couldn’t see think otherway round? God give her power to overcome the fear she carry within and take right decision in her remaining life.
    Aur koi use samjhaye ki abhi bhi basketball khel sakti h lekin apne andar ke fear ko overpower na hone de ab at least. There are many things to get afraid of and conceive fear inside. always she will have to cry infront of mirror with this mindset she currently comply with!.
    I pity on Prerna, nobody can do anything to such girl except giving sympathy and kind words! Sahi chij se daro yar galat se kyon darna, darte ho to mar mar kar jio fir!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So far after reading part 1 and part 2, it looks pure Indian story with full of emotions and nothing more but very interesting to read, emotional story kise achha ni lagta, true to our core in current society! Waiting for third part as well..

      Like

  6. I think there is a different side of this story which is neither from the perspective of Rashmi nor Prerna.
    As per me the strongest person in this story Rajeev needs to be highlighted. Rajeev left his girlfriend because of his mother. It depicts his eternal love towards his mother which is rare to find in society these days. The heartbreak he went through would have been terrible too. So he had to leave Rashmi and still be strong because he had to marry a girl.
    He married a girl who was younger than him and had to take care of her. He had to make sure that Prerna is doing well because obviously she was married to this guy forcefully.
    So he alone had to handle three relations out of which one with Rashmi was broken. The relations with Prerna and his mother were the ones to keep.

    But in the end I guess whatever happens, happens for a reason.

    Very beautiful piece of writing Divya. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

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